Something Men Don't Know

You have never been, nor will you EVER be, a non-person in the financial world.

In the past several weeks I have endeavored to speak with both our mortgage holder and the bank that holds the note on my new car...the one I drive. Since the loans have my husband's name on them...and not mine...no one will speak to me. Not even the people in the Philippines who were the third department I was directed to while just trying to figure out how to get the new car loan to show up on the internet banking page.

Believe me, I understand the need for internet security. And I also understand that not every husband and wife see eye to eye on things financial, nor share all financial information openly and honestly. And the bank may be caught in the middle. But until you have experienced someone saying "I can't talk to you...you're not on the account..." you cannot understand what it feels like to be a non-entity. As far as these two institutions are concerned, I don't exist.

Decades ago we belonged to a snooty yacht club. One of the snootiest in the country. Again - the membership was in my husband's name. Women were not allowed to "belong" on their own. If something had happened to him, I would have had to remove our boat from it's dock, as I had no rights or privileges there...even if I continued paying dues and fees. Even if there were no waiting list for the dock space. Just because I am a woman.

I am (still) a Roman Catholic. Don't ask me why, as there is no common sense behind the decision to stay. That is the ultimate location of non-person-hood for women.

I have not called myself a feminist in a long time. My personal opinion is that feminism, as it is currently structured, has also betrayed women. And as militant as feminism has been, in simple areas like access to banking information I am still where I would have been when Ozzie and Harriet were the paradigm for family life. If my husband has the time to call these banks, and tell them it's okay, I will be able to more easily continue my role as the "accounts payable" department in the family. But until he does so...nope.

So please...the next time you want to feel superior to fundamental Islamic societies...DONT!!!!!